That’s the only word Sookie can use to describe how she feels. Her husband, her first and only love, the man she’s been with since she was sixteen years old has just told her he is no longer happy in their marriage and he wants a divorce.
Sookie blinks her eyes in disbelief. Divorce? She knew things haven’t been great between them lately, but she didn’t think they had been this bad. Between her husband always traveling for work, her own job, maintaining the house, and their other obligations, she knew they were going through a rough patch.
But now that her husband’s traveling is finished for a few weeks, she had planned on trying to put the spark back into her marriage. Sookie had gone to the spa, having her body completely pampered and her hair cut and styled. On her way home, she’d stopped at the lingerie store and picked out a sheer, sexy lacy negligée in white. It was a nod to the lingerie she’d worn on their wedding night. Sookie had ignored the pang of disgust she’d felt since the lingerie had been a few sizes bigger than what she’d worn on her wedding night.
Her husband never complained about her extra weight, but he hadn’t been as affectionate with her in the last few months. Sookie had thought it was just a rut; every marriage went through them. Never had she thought she would come home to find her husband waiting for her with his suitcases, each one of them, stacked by the door.
“I don’t understand,” Sookie beings only to stop as the tears come rushing forward. “What do you mean you aren’t happy? I know you’ve been busy with work, but that should ease up now. You don’t have any trips for a few weeks. We can relax; we can go away for a romantic weekend.” Sookie is babbling as she tries to say anything to get her husband to change his mind.
“It isn’t work,” he begins coldly. “Even when I’m home, we aren’t together. You’re busy with work and your family. You never spend time with me. We are leading two separate lives and have been for a while. It’s time to cut our losses,” he finished with a shrug.
“Cut our losses? This isn’t a business deal you’re talking about; it’s our goddamn marriage!” Sookie is angry with how blasé her husband is about the end of their marriage.
“And when we’re together, you usually have your face buried in your phone, your tablet, the laptop, or all three. It’s kind of hard to be with someone when they’re paying more attention to their electronic devices than they are to the person sitting in the room with them,” Sookie retorts harshly.
She takes a deep breath as she tries to fight for some semblance of control, to stay rational and calm during this discussion; her husband has never responded well to emotional outbursts. “Maybe we need to talk to someone, see a counselor. I’m not willing to throw away eleven years together over a few rough months,” Sookie responds tiredly.
“I don’t believe in therapy; all therapists create new problems where none existed. They’ll twist our words and make the situation far worse than what it is. I don’t want to fight with you,” he says in a calm tone. “I still love you and care about you, but I’m not in love with you anymore,” he admits regretfully.
The bottom of Sookie’s stomach plummets down to her feet and it feels as if a fist is squeezing her heart inside her chest. He doesn’t love her anymore? How can this be? You don’t just fall out of love with someone overnight. They’d weathered high school together, going to college in different states, and even survived a year apart while Sookie studied abroad.
What has changed?
Why is she suddenly not enough for him?
“Is there someone else?” Sookie angrily asks the only question she can think of that would have precipitated such a change. She wraps her arms around her midsection, trying to keep the pain at bay. Tears run down her cheeks unimpeded as she stares at the man she vowed to love and cherish until death parted them.
“I don’t think that’s relevant to this conversation,” he deflects only for Sookie to cut him off.
“Bullshit! It’s pretty fucking relevant if you’re sticking your dick in someone else! You sure as hell haven’t put your dick in me in months! Every time I’ve tried to initiate sex, you’ve been too tired, too busy, or not in the mood. So tell me, are you seeing someone else?”
“Sookie, I don’t want to hurt you,” he begins in a placating tone.
“ANSWER. THE. FUCKING. QUESTION!” Although Sookie already knows the answer to her question. His attempts at deflection and his avoidance have already told her everything she needs to know.
“Yes,” he admits quietly with his eyes downcast.
“Get out!” Sookie’s voice wavers as she screams at the man she swore to be faithful to, forsaking all others as long as they both shall live. Clearly he didn’t remember that part of their vows. How could he do this to her? The one thing Sookie will not tolerate is cheating. She’d seen how devastated her mother had been because of her father’s extramarital affairs. Ultimately her mother had drunk herself to an early grave because of her despondency. It had been the one thing Sookie swore she’d never tolerate and her husband knew that; he’d been around to see the effect Sookie’s parents’ marriage had on her even as a young child. Even now her father couldn’t be faithful; it’s why he’s on his fifth wife overall, the fourth since Sookie’s mother Michelle had passed away when she was thirteen.
“I’m going,” he concedes while walking towards the entryway where all his luggage is. “I’ll call you to discuss getting the rest of my things. I’m hoping we can do this as amicably as possible. There’s no need for any unpleasantness between us. Like I said, I still care about you,” he says in a gentle tone.
“Fuck you Bill,” Sookie retorts bitterly. “There’s no such thing as an amicable divorce. Someone always ends up hurt.”