Bless me Father, for I have sinned…
I’ve always been a good girl; did well in school, minded my manners, respected my elders, did what I was supposed to… and I was fucking bored out of my mind!!! Growing up in BFE Louisiana didn’t offer a lot of chances for excitement. Hell the most interesting things in our town usually involved my brother and his drunken exploits either with his friends or girls. I had wanted to go away for college, but we couldn’t afford it. So I had gone to a local college and lived at home with my Gran. I didn’t get to experience the things others got to at college; no living in a dorm, no joining a sorority, and definitely no crazy frat parties. I went to school, came home to study, and worked at Merlotte’s to help pay for school expenses. I know I sound ungrateful; I’m not. It’s because I’m grateful for everything my Gran did for me that I stayed so close to home and behaved the way a good Southern woman should.
But Gran’s gone now . . . I need something more than my small-town life in Bon Temps. I’ve felt restless for a long time, but it’s gotten worse since she passed away at the beginning of the year. I’ve thought about moving away and starting over, but I’m scared of failing. Besides, my brother Jason would never let me leave. He is fiercely protective of me. But I think he’s also scared to be alone; we are the only family we have left.
So knowing all that about me, you probably are wondering how a good girl like myself ended up at a sex club. Well, I have my friends Lafayette, Jesus, and Tara to thank for that. I had known about the club, Forbidden, for months. Lafayette was never exactly shy about his escapades or sexcapades in this case. The club is actually how he met Jesus. While they love each other, they both like experimenting with other partners. But the rule is that what happens at the club stays at the club. Outside of the club, they are devoted only to each other.
Lafayette brought Tara to the club, and I know she loves it! The club gives her the opportunity to explore her sexuality fully. I have to admit I was a little worried by what I heard from her. I’d never heard of BDSM relationships before, so when I looked it up it scared the shit out of me! It looked excruciatingly painful and I couldn’t ever see myself participating in that. Honestly, how can anyone enjoy that?
The night after I did all my research, Tara showed up at my house for dinner. I tried to act like everything was normal, but I couldn’t. I was looking at Tara differently because of what I knew. How could my best friend, the girl who is closer to me than anyone, be interested in that? Tara is a strong, independent, and proud woman. I couldn’t see her being submissive with anyone. But Tara wouldn’t let me pull away; she knew something was bothering me, and she hounded me until I told her what it was. Thank God she did. She set me straight on what her relationship with her dominant was. Yes, there are some BDSM relationships that take it to the extreme, but that wasn’t what she shared with her Dom. She said their situation was more about control; her relinquishing control to him and trusting that he would take care of her. And from what I heard, he was VERY good at taking care of her. I had to admit, my curiosity was piqued as well as my libido. There was just one problem with me joining a sex club . . .
I had dated Bill for a few months. Our relationship was . . .ehhhhh. Bill said and did all the right things, but I never got a warm, fuzzy feeling from him. And sex . . . let’s just say the produce section at the grocery store excited me more than he did. Bill and I only had sex a few times, but it was always the same thing; lights turned off, pinching my nipples a little too hard before shoving his toothpick inside me whether I was ready or not. Four thrusts later and he would be done for the night. Is it any wonder that I wanted something more?
I carefully approached the subject of joining Forbidden with Bill. I wore something a little naughty to entice him . . . not that I wanted to engage in his brand of hide and seek. I worried that Bill would think joining the club would be risqué, that it would be too extreme for his delicate sensibilities. Imagine my shock when he said he had been to the club a few times before. He was quick to say it had never been during our relationship, but something told me he was a lying ass. I was especially suspicious when I had to go through an intense application process and Bill didn’t have to do shit. It’s alright; something tells me I won’t have to deal with his pinky winkie for too much longer.
After I dropped off the application, I had to undergo a background check and a mandatory health screening. There was nothing left for me to do but wait . . . and wait . . . and wait some more. I was beginning to think my application was denied when I finally received a call from Pamela Ravenscroft asking me to come in for a formal interview and tour of the club.
The tour of the club was an eye-opening experience to say the least. The list of rules was intimidating; proper attire, what can and cannot occur within the limits of the club, security measures, etc. I was going to have to do some more research based on the quick glances I had at the rules. What the hell does the Eiffel Tower have to do with sex and why is a spotter recommended? And are Viennese oysters somehow more of an aphrodisiac than regular oysters?
Pam enjoyed showing me the ins and outs of the club, even going so far as to offer me a private demonstration if I had any questions. At the end of the tour, she offered me a drink in the bar.
She watches me intently as I sip my gin and tonic, licking her lips before asking me, “So what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” I can’t help but think of the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, “Her voice is full of money.” Instead of money, Pam’s voice is full of sex. It oozes out of her very pores.
A nervous grin spreads across my face as I set my drink down. “I’m tired of being the ‘good-girl’; I want to experience life instead of read about it. For once in my life, I want to be able to say ‘I did that’ instead of always wondering what it would be like. I may hate it, but at least I will have had the balls to try it,” I say with quiet determination.
Pam looks at me as if she is seeing me for the first time, a new sense of appreciation on her face. “You surprise me. I thought for sure you would run screaming out of here before the tour was over. And if you didn’t run out of here tonight, I was damn sure the other members were going to chew you up and spit you out the first night you participated. But something tells me you’re going to give as good as you get.”
I shrug my shoulders before downing the rest of my drink. I grab my purse, rising so that I can leave. I am officially a member of the club now, but I do not want to take part tonight. I have some things I want to take care of before the first visit. I thank Pam for the tour and answering my questions. Before I walk by her, she grabs my wrist so that I will stop. Her touch startles me because her hand is cold, but not uncomfortably so. She rises so that we are face to face.
“Remember what I said. If you ever need a demonstration or you want to try something, it would be my pleasure to serve you.” She closes the distance between us, brushing her lips against mine. Her tongue sweeps along my lower lip before she pulls back. Pam gives me a knowing smile before walking out of the room. I’ve never been kissed by another woman before; it shocks me that I find the experience arousing. Forbidden indeed. . . Something tells me I’m going to thoroughly enjoy my time here.
Bill and I decided that we would go to Forbidden on Wednesday evenings. Bill thought it less likely that we would run into people we know. I knew that none of my friends would be there on Wednesdays because Tara and Lafayette both had to work. I took that first Wednesday off from work. This was going to be a new chapter in my life and I wanted to make sure that I was ready for it. So like every woman before her first time with a new partner, I made sure I was battle-ready: polished, washed, waxed, and coiffed. I even bought new lingerie to mark the occasion. By the time the evening rolled around, I was wound so tightly that I needed a good hard fuck to release all the tension. Thank God we were going to a sex club!
Within seconds of our arrival, Bill ditched me for The Den. When I looked inside, I found my “boyfriend” engaged in a passionate kiss with a dark-haired woman while a younger, naked Latino man palmed Bill’s cock (seriously, how could he find it?!?!?!) through his pants. Bill pulled his lips from the woman so he could kiss the man as the woman dropped to her knees as she pulled Bill’s pants down. She leaned forward and started performing fellatio first on Bill, then the other man. I’d seen enough so I moved down the hallway looking for what I didn’t know.
I must have looked lost because a gentleman with brown hair and brown eyes asked me if he could help me with anything. His offer was sincere, not like some of the blatant and downright pitiful attempts others made trying to get me to join them. He said that since it was my first time at the club, I might be most comfortable in the voyeur room. It allowed people to watch me do whatever I wanted while watching them, but no one could touch me. He joked that it might be the perfect place for me to get wet for the first time at Forbidden. I smiled shyly at his joke while trying to stare at him without being obvious. This man was absolutely stunning; not much taller than me, but his body was well-defined and chiseled. His pale skin was a stark contrast to his dark-colored pants. My eyes stared at his full red lips as he spoke. His words and manner towards me were soft and comforting, but when he touched me, it’s as if a jolt of electricity ran through my body. I let out a soft gasp, and he must have felt something too because his eyes darkened. Before I could say anything, he released my arm and gestured for me to enter the voyeur room. His last words to me were that he’d be watching, his voice definitely rougher than before.
For the first time that night, I felt aroused. That was what I was looking for when I joined the club; to feel alive. I hurried in the room, uncertain of what I would do. Pam had brought me to this room during my tour, but now I had the chance to explore it fully. Other than the bed, a table, and a bench, the only thing left to explore was a built-in bookshelf. Seeing the items on the shelf gave me some inspiration. I love to dance, and I know I’m good at it. There was an iPod on the docking station and when I scrolled through it, I find something to dance to. Getting lost in the music, I ignored the few that watched me. If I focused on them, I’d lose my nerve.
Before I knew it, I was nearly naked masturbating in front of perfect strangers . . . and I fucking loved it! I felt so sexy and powerful knowing that other people were getting off because of me. It’s that feeling that pushed me over the edge, allowing me to find my release. I leaned against the bedpost in a post-euphoric haze. I’ve had orgasms before, usually because of my own efforts, but never one like this. Bill certainly never brought me to this level of pleasure. My entire body felt relaxed, and I almost felt drunk because of how happy I feel. I never knew sex could make you feel euphoric; it is spectacular, and I couldn’t wait to feel it again. Unfortunately, I knew I had to leave.
It was with great reluctance that I got up from the bench I’d sat on and slipped my lingerie back on. My eyes drifted towards the glass walls; there were more people in their now than when I first entered the room. Again, it’s intoxicating to know my pleasure brought other people pleasure. I saw the gorgeous guy I talked to earlier standing in a booth alone. He’s got a sexy grin on his face and a very noticeable bulge in his pants, but otherwise nothing looked out of the ordinary. When our eyes met, he stood up straight and slowly clapped his hands, letting me know he approved of my show. An instant blush appeared on my face, but to let him know that I appreciated him watching me, I pressed my lips against the glass in an exaggerated kiss. I pulled away giggling because he raised a hand to his chest, pretending to clutch his heart. I knew that one was going to be trouble, but something told me we’d have a lot of fun together if I gave him a chance.
As I’d turned to leave, I noticed another man sitting alone in a booth. My breath caught because he was without a doubt the most beautiful creature I ever saw. Blond hair the same color as my own, eyes so blue they looked like sapphires, lips made for kissing, a muscular body that made me want to follow the patterns with my hands and tongue, all leading down to the largest penis I had ever seen in my life. . . and it was only at half-mast. I stared in awe as I licked my lips, suddenly desperate to know how he tasted and felt. I felt my body throb with longing. I placed another kiss against the glass. When I pulled away, we stared at each other, his cock hardening as we eye fucked each other. His lips curled in a smile of pure sin and he crooked his finger at me slowly, beckoning me to join him. I hastily fled the room, knowing that if I give in to that temptation, I would never want to leave.
Walking out of the room, I literally ran into Bill. He was clothed, thank God, but he looked ridiculous in his wannabe pimp outfit. “Did you have fun in there sweetheart?” Bill looked pissed off, which I didn’t understand. He’s the one that was in the orgy room fucking who knows how many people; all I did was let people watch me get myself off.
I nodded my head shyly although part of me wanted to make a snarky comment about his activities in The Den. Whatever; I took the high road on this one. Besides, it’s not like I wanted him sticking his string bean inside me.
Bill drove me home and neither of us spoke. Instead he forced me to listen to Tibetan throat music. Why the fuck was I with this guy? I tried to ignore the music, my mind drifting back to the two men at Forbidden. I wondered if I would see either of them again. I wondered if the fantasies in my head could ever live up to the reality.
There was only one way to find out . . .
Wednesdays are now my favorite day of the week because it means I will spend the evening at Forbidden. I have to say, I am addicted. I crave the attention I get from having others watch me. The power I feel knowing I am someone’s fantasy is incredibly arousing; I can admit that it has gone to my head. Who wouldn’t get excited knowing that they are the object of someone else’s desires? Tara and Lafayette have both told me that my performances are a hit with the other club members. Lafayette jokingly told me that the members call me Chastity and are taking bets on who will get me to break my “virginity”. I couldn’t help but laugh, but at the same time, my mind drifted to the two guys I wouldn’t mind losing my “virtue” to.
My time spent at the club has affected other aspects of my life. I’m more confidant now; my supervisor has commented that it’s nice to see me speaking and acting more sure of myself. In fact, I got a promotion because of my increased productivity and creativity. My wardrobe has definitely improved; gone are the conservative outfits and sensible shoes. Now, my clothing fits to enhance my body, not hide it. And my addiction to shoes is only rivaled by my addiction to lingerie and negligees. I have yet to wear the same outfit to Forbidden. The sales associates at Victoria’s Secret must turn cartwheels when they see me coming. My brother and friends have also commented on the changes; they all think it has to do with Bill. Why would it? I kicked his ass to the curb a few weeks after we started going to Forbidden!
Tara has been a god send through all of this! She and I have only grown closer. I can talk to her about everything now; there are no secrets between us. The day after my first night at Forbidden, she came over for dinner so we could talk about everything. She was surprised by how much I enjoyed being an exhibitionist, and she was just as disgusted as I about Bill’s choice of activities. Since Tara had been going to the club for a long time, I asked her if she knew who the two guys were that had watched me. My heart felt like a rock in my stomach when she admitted the dark-haired guy sounded like her dominant Godric. I wasn’t about to get involved with him if he was fucking my best friend too. Based on the description of the other guy, she said that sounded like Eric. When I asked for the story about the two of them she said that they were the co-owners of the club with Pam, and they were extremely selective in when they would come down to the floor. I asked Tara if it bothered her that Godric watched me and she said no. Her relationship with Godric wasn’t exclusive; in fact, she was proud of me for capturing the attention of two of the most sought after guys at the club. Tara assured me that if I wanted to pursue something with Godric that I should do it. As for Eric, she wanted the inside scoop; she had never seen him on the club floor as a participant. His nickname was “Viking” because of his looks. His reputation at the club was legendary; apparently all the women and men wanted him. I couldn’t speak from experience about his performance but I could confirm that his longship definitely lived up to the hype.
I wanted to make certain that my voyeurs weren’t bored with my performance, so I was constantly thinking of new ways to get myself off. My sex toy collection was beginning to rival that of some of the girls at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Thank God for the wonders of shopping anonymously on the internet! I also got the idea in my head to start dressing up in different costumes to keep things interesting. I knew that Eric and Godric didn’t have any complaints; they never missed one of my performances. Pam, who had surprisingly become a good friend, was constantly teasing me about how much the two of them wanted me. She even hinted to me that they viewed me as “theirs” because of the kisses I left them on the glass at the end of each night. Her enjoyment of the situation increased dramatically when I started leaving her a kiss on the glass at the end of each performance. Pam had started watching me my third visit to the club. She started watching because she wanted to see what had captured the attention of Godric and Eric; she continued watching because she wanted to fuck me herself. As time passed, I have to admit that I wanted to fuck her too. While I would perform for the others, Pam would perform for me. She and Tara were the ones who introduced me to the fine line between pleasure and pain. They became my guides in my quest for sexual knowledge; I must admit our study sessions never left me unsatisfied.
It was Tara’s suggestion that I bring Pam in the room with me. She said it would serve two purposes. One, it would be fuckhot for those watching, and two, it would finally force Godric and Eric to act on their desire for me. Despite my sexual awakening and the pleasure I was taking in it, I wasn’t interested in having sex with many partners. What I did with Tara and Pam was fun, but I still preferred men. And given what I’d seen from both men, I knew I would be more than satisfied. My longing for both had grown; it was a craving that I needed to satisfy.
When Pam walked in the room that night, the looks on their faces were priceless; a combination of jealously, anger, and lust. Eric, normally methodical in the way he would pleasure his body, was lost in sensation. Something about the way he would pleasure himself always made it seem as if he were doing it for my enjoyment and not his own. But that night he couldn’t control his body’s reaction, and I fucking loved it. Godric, however, had the opposite reaction; it was as if his body couldn’t find his release. It wasn’t until I pleasured myself that he was finally able to orgasm. What does it say about me that I found that to be the greatest compliment?
So here we are, two weeks later, and I’m standing outside the door to my room at Forbidden. If things go the way I hope they will, I won’t be alone in the room tonight. I didn’t go to the club last week. Instead, I had Pam leave notes for both Godric and Eric in their respective viewing rooms. I decided to borrow Pam’s words, but with a slightly less vulgar spin.
If you want me, come and get me. Next Wednesday, 9:00 pm; you know where to find me.
My heart is racing; I have butterflies in my stomach. I take a deep breath, exhaling as I turn the knob of the door.