Because I can . . .

Today was a shit day. Work can suck my big toe. Because I want something to make myself feel better, y’all are getting a preview of the next chapter of Waking Up Dead. I posted some of this in my Facebook group the other day but it is now expanded. This is not edited, so all mistakes are my own.

Waking Up Dead

“What has you so worried min dotter?” Eric pauses in the act of searching for clothes to stare with worry at me. I’m distracted from my temporary panic by his body. He is giving me the side view so I am able to see the front and back. Eric is simply magnificent; long, lean lines with muscles that came from years of hard work, not any type of exercise regimen. But that behind . . . and what’s in front . . . thank the Lord I can’t blush now! I am both fascinated and repelled by his body. My body is telling me to offer myself to him yet my mind is screaming at me to rebuff him. This is Eric Northman we are talking about; he’s deceitful and he let me walk into a trap to save Godric. He did horrible things to Lafayette, and I know somehow he is to blame for Bill having turned Jessica.

Has he ever hurt you? Didn’t he offer to sacrifice himself for you and Godric? He tried to save your life and when he couldn’t, he turned you so you would still be here. Telepathy isn’t enough of a reason for him to tie himself to you for eternity.

The bitch has a point though I hate to admit it! This is all so confusing!

During my internal struggle, Eric managed to dress in a black sweater and pair of pants. The all black combination makes him look imposing and authoritative, but sexy as hell.

“I feel your struggles Sookie,” comments with a wry smile. “As a vampire all of your senses are heightened. You will think and feel more quickly, which will cause you to have sudden shifts in mood. It is natural to feel unfocused and without discipline. As your maker, it is my duty to guide you. Think of me as your teacher; I will not steer you wrong,” he vows fervently.

“I don’t think I can trust you,” I admit softly. Vampires, well other than Bill and Jessica, do not show reactions unless it’s lust or anger. So when Eric flinches at my words, it’s a huge reaction for him. His pain makes its way through the bond and I am about to apologize for my words even though they are true when it feels as if a door has slammed shut and then I feel nothing at all from him. The nothingness makes my pain feel like a knife stabbing my heart; it is unlike anything I have ever experienced. It is debilitating and I sway under its power.

Eric’s strong hands grasp my upper arms and I feel slightly comforted by his touch. He pulls me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. One hand strokes my back while the other cradles my head. My pain only subsides when I feel his emotions drift over me like a soft breeze; I sense remorse and concern.

“Forgive me,” Eric murmurs against my hair. “I have forgotten how intense a newly formed bond is between a maker and child. It has been a century since I forged my bond with Pam; ten since Godric made me his companion. However I think our connection is stronger due to your telepathic ability,” Eric explains.

“Why couldn’t I feel you? Why did it feel like I was dyin’?” His touch isn’t warm but there isn’t the temperature difference I used to notice with Bill. But his touch is more comforting than if Bill were to hold me like this. If I’m honest, being held like this by Eric even feels safer than when Gran held me.

It feels right. My body seems to sigh into his and I feel cherished.

That frightens me.

“A maker is in charge of the relationship with his or her progeny; there is no equality,” Eric begins calmly but his words raise my hackles and I fight to free myself from his hold.

“So I’m your slave?” This is the twenty-first century! There is no way I’m letting someone control me. I have rights! I’m an American!

Eric remains unphased by my temper tantrum. “There are those that would treat you as such. But I have never, nor will I ever, treat any of my progeny like a slave. Pam has been my companion; my mother, sister, and daughter.”

“I don’t understand.” He keeps taking the wind out of my sails, leaving me deflated.

“It’s an idea that Godric presented me with over a millennium ago,” Eric says wistfully. I cannot begin to fathom everything he has seen and done. It is intimidating actually. What on Earth does Eric see in me? If I’m honest with myself, he makes me feel inferior and inadequate; compared to him I feel insignificant. How can a barmaid from a backwoods town in Louisiana fascinate him so much?

“Before this conversation continues, I think you should dress. The sight of you wrapped only in this sheet is . . . distracting.” Eric smirks at me. Shit! I’d forgotten I only had the sheet around me.

“But I don’t have any clothes here. Where is here by the way?”

Eric opens a door revealing a closet. All of my dresses I brought with me to Dallas are hanging inside. “Here is a safe house of Godric’s that no one else knows of. Property records show the home belongs to a Mr. and Mrs. Smith; they are the caretakers that Godric has glamoured to take care of the property. We are about an hour south of Dallas. We thought somewhere remote, away from the media circus that has become Dallas. As for your things, Godric retrieved them from the hotel while you and I were indisposed.”

He strides to the opposite side of the room, pressing his thumb against a keypad. A panel of the wall slides up to reveal a staircase leading upstairs. “I will leave you to dress. Meet me upstairs when you are ready. I will have more blood for you. Do not take too long; there are others anxious to see you.”

I’m left chuckling to myself as I think of how tech savvy most vampires are; makes me wonder if I’ll ever catch on. I can’t even figure out my cell phone, and don’t even get me started on how I can’t use a computer!

Another thing to add to the list of things that make Sookie feel stupid!

Now that I am alone in the room, I feel free to snoop around. As I saw when I rose, the room is utilitarian: bed, closet, kitchenette, and bathroom. I know Eric said to be quick, but I need a shower. I don’t feel right starting the day, err night now, without one. I guess it doesn’t matter too much anymore; it’s not like I’m gonna sweat and get dirty.

Going straight to the shower, I turn on the water, not waiting for it to heat up. I want to know how different it feels now that I’m a vampire. There was no temperature difference between Eric and me so his touch felt normal. I want to know what it cold and hot will feel like now. Bill never really talked about how things felt other than to say that holding me in his arms made him warmer.

With an unnecessary sigh, I reach for the shampoo and begin to wash my hair. There is so much to take in; I don’t know where to begin. Eric asked me for time and I will give it to him. I may not have wanted this existence, but I never wanted to be a telepath either. Gran always said to make the best of the hand God dealt you. I don’t know if I am meant to be a vampire; if it doesn’t work out, Eric said he would let me go.

He didn’t want to let you go. If Bill loved you so much, where was he when you needed him most? Why is Eric the one protecting you? Even Godric has placed himself in harm’s way on more than one occasion. Where has Bill been?

It’s hard to have an argument with yourself when you can’t refute a damn thing your subconscious says. What’s more startling to me are my lukewarm feelings towards Bill. It’s not that I’m indifferent towards him, but I don’t have this all-encompassing love inside me. I am not consumed with thoughts of Bill. I can’t even say I feel the fascination for him that I did the night we met.

Ok, maybe I am indifferent to him.

No, that’s not true. I’m pissed off where Bill Compton is concerned. Where the fuck is he? If he loves me so much, if I’m his miracle, then shouldn’t he have been the first one in line trying to save me? Wouldn’t he have been the one to want to turn me?

Asshole!

My fangs have popped out again, slicing through the soft flesh of my lip. The taste of my blood doesn’t satisfy me, but it does make me crave blood. Dear Lord, am I gonna be hungry like this all the time? It’s kinda annoying. I can’t focus on anything else now except my thirst. That’s not true; it’s like my brain is now partitioned off and can focus on many things at once. Part of my brain has been engaged in the physical pleasure that my hands and the water are causing all over my body. I can feel every bead of water as it hits my skin, and it is incredibly erotic. The drops of water pulse against my skin before sliding down it like a lover’s caress, causing me to feel needy. The differences in temperature are another stimulant, pushing me closer to the edge. The shower head has different settings; and I’ve found one that feels like a vibration against my back and chest.

I wonder what it will feel like in other places.

DO IT! We need to release some of this tension. Unless you plan on fucking your maker or a donor tonight. Maybe both.

I’m not ready to have sex with a nameless donor; Gran’s voice is in the back of my head going on and on about how sex is something to be shared between two people who care for each other. As for my maker . . . part of me has screamed for me to climb him like a tree and swing from his branch. My body and psyche crave that connection, that closeness. But that’s the magic between us talking. I don’t have to give into that urge; Jessica’s never been compelled towards Bill that way. The question is do I want to give into it.

I don’t know the answer to that.

You were fascinated with Eric the first time you saw him. There was an attraction there, you felt hypnotized by him.

But then it was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on me, and I felt fear. It wasn’t my fear. I don’t know where it came from. One minute I was bantering with Eric; the next I feared for my life. It’s like someone else was in control of me.

BINGO!!! She finally gets it! Tell her what she’s won Johnny!

If I could slap the taste outta my mouth, I would. Is it vampire blood that’s made my inner voice this snarky?

Nope. It was vampire blood that snuffed me out. Now that we are a vampire, we can’t be controlled by blood any longer. Our maker can control us through our bond, nothing else.

But . . .

So that means . . .

He . . .

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

To be continued . . . .

And check out the other banners the wonderful Sephrenia has made for me.

Bridal Party Woes

Resolutions

About mistressjessica1028

What can I say? My little shipper heart hated how SVM and TB treated Eric, so I have made it my mission to create worlds where the Viking always gets the girl. :-)
This entry was posted in Waking Up Dead and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Because I can . . .

  1. Natsgirl says:

    Yeah. You knew the shoe would drop for her eventually.
    She is going to be one ornery newborn.

  2. Betchay says:

    HALLELUJAH!!!! Finally! She sees the light! Jeez, that was painful. lol!!! 😀

  3. HALLELUJAH!!!! Finally she sees the light! Jeez, that was painfull. LOL!!!! 😀

  4. mom2goalies says:

    Oh, this is gonna be good! Lol
    So glad she finally realized it. Looking forward to more.

  5. switbo says:

    Woohoo! She’s finally coming to her senses. I think Beehl is in for a whooping!

  6. shoegirl01 says:

    And her eyes are now opened! I almost – repeat: almost – feel sorry for Bill… Nope can’t wait for that confrontation 🙂

  7. VictoryInTrouble says:

    I like her inner voice. Smart one, that. Sorry you had a shitty day. I’ve had a shitty week so I know how that goes. Posting does help. 🙂

  8. lostinspace33 says:

    Ding, ding, ding! Tell her what she’s won, Alex! 😉

  9. msbuffy says:

    I’m sorry you had such a rotten day! Seems as if we’re all having a bad week… Great chapter by the way! I like Sookie’s inner voice, she’s funny! I really can’t wait for her to kick Bill’s ass! 🙂 Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

  10. saldred75 says:

    I’m glad she finally realized bill is a douche!!!

  11. Ding ding ding! Finally figured it out, did we? Bravo!

  12. Kellykol says:

    more please!! xoxo

  13. missrissa81 says:

    I love this!!!! I am so glad that she came to the Scumbill realization on her own, that way she can’t turn around and be told that it’s Eric trying to influence her!!! Love this so much and can’t wait for more!!!

  14. Royal Ember says:

    Love it! Can’t wait for her to meet up with Bill. I think the jerk is going to be surprised as hell! Will Godric still try and kill himself? He gave her blood too, so will that factor into anything?

  15. suzymeinen says:

    She can be taught! Yeah! Looking forward to the rest.

  16. redjane12 says:

    hope she bitchslaps Bill!

  17. rosemeschi says:

    Omg … I fell in love with this story, please update it soon, can’t wait for more. Thanks.

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